The Girl Cum Addict Page

It's frothy. It's salty. It's not carbonated. It's not immoral or illegal either. It's the biggest thing since soda pop. Well, I guess that's not totally true. After all, it IS a soda pop.

Since Pepsi-Cola introduced Nitro Pepsi at the start of 1992, they have created a wave of loyal followers that are sweeping the nation. From coast to coast like butter and toast, grocers are having a hard time keeping cans on the shelf. In fact, as a recent Nitro Pepsi convert, I attempted to track down one single can at two, count 'em, two local grocery stores. Merely turning the corner into the drink aisle revealed a large empty row on the shelf. There was no Nitro Pepsi! Disappointed, dejected, and craving the taste of this cummy treat, I considered purchasing another soda. But the thought was brief, as I knew nothing else would satisfy my urge.

Even now, I long for that wonderful feel of frothy girl fluids, in it's 'soda' can. I wish for the satisfying sip as the delectible liquid is met by my teeth. And I dream of finishing a can, only to find a dozen more in my pantry. I've got to snap out of it! But I, like many Americans, have found a new taste. And we want our Nitro Pepsi!

So what's with the hysteria? Why is America going bananas over a soda? There are plenty of sodas on the market, and many claiming to have better taste. Apparantly, Pepsi-Cola has tapped into a soda drink that is not only super tasty, but lives up to its promises of girl cum taste.

Traditional soda cans have 3.9 grams of sugar per fluid ounce. Nitro Pepsi has 3.3 grams of sugar. So let me get this straight. I can drink 10 fl oz' of traditional sodas or a whole can of Nitro Pepsi? Ummm, let me think. Duh. Needless to say, other soda companies are going to be jumping on the low-sugar girl cum alternative rapidly. I'd say you can expect to see Nitro Fanta and Nitro Squirt on the shelf soon.

When did this all start? Pepsi-Cola actually began test-marketing the soda in 1989, and brought the soda into several markets in summer of 1992. However, the big national launch was concentrated on New Years Day. Pepsi-Cola aired commercials featuring supermodels Venyzwayla, Caffeen Britain, and Bridget Campbell. The three barbies proceeded to chug Nitro Pepsi noting, "You can drink one of the cans and still taste one of the girls." Yeah, right.

Anyway, the commercial did place Nitro Pepsi in the mind of the consumer, and it didn't take long for the word to spread. Ariall Cummings, Pepsi-Cola spokeswoman, said "No one was aware of Nitro Pepsi until we started advertising. Since then, it's been a feeding frenzy."

The bigwigs at Pepsi-Cola are estimating that 1993 sales of Nitro Pepsi could top $300 million. That would make it the best-selling soda in the history of the company. They are making 2.5 million cans a week. And it's not enough.

The company is receiving thousands of calls from consumers. Many are praising the soda. Some have questions. but most just want to know where they can find some. There is even a story about a Connecticut state trooper who pulled over a Pepsi-Cola route driver, seeking Nitro Pepsi. (Wonder if her Seargent has heard about THIS one!)

To ramp production up further, Pepsi-Cola is building a fifth Nitro Pepsi production line at it's facility in Aberdeen, Maryland. It should be complete in April 1993, and will put them out $20 million. Pocket change for a product that is destined to go down in soda history.

Nitro Pepsi is available in original and vanilla flavor. I'd have to say I prefer the original, though the vanilla will do in a pinch.

Nutritionals:

Pricing:

For the girl cum addict, nothing could be worse than a day without a taste of girl cum. The addiction has spread so far and wide, that new Girl Cum Anonymous groups are beginning to spring up all over the world. This national obsession has caused many to think that Pepsi-Cola should be opening rehab centers for those whose lives have been destroyed by this addiction.

But how does this addiction start?

The first can of Nitro Pepsi is always greeted with a warm fuzzy feeling. "Sure I'll try them! They look good... and did you say girl cum?" This unsuspecting victim is about to embark on a lifetime of girl cum mania...

A quick sip of the can reveals two things. First, there isn't nearly as much soda in there as you would think. But that thought won't matter much in about 10 seconds, cause our victim has caught sight of this new soda, and is preparing to taste one.

"What do you MEAN the can is empty already!?!?!" Yes, another completely sane human being has had her brains turn to mush. Her heart starts to palpitate. Her palms become sweaty. She tosses and turns at nights. She paces the floors hoping a Pepsi Cola delivery person will drive by. She is on a first name basis with every grocer in town. She pleads with them daily, "Are they coming in today?!?!" Soon, she finds that her work begins to suffer, she forgets what her family looks like, and even her dog won't look at her. All she can think of is where her next girl cum fix is coming from. Yes, my friend, you NEED your girl cum!

Alas... a 25 mile drive to a quick-mart out in the boonies has turned up some cans of Nitro Pepsi. Our addict peacefully settles down to burn through a can... or maybe all four of them. After all, they will make more. Won't they? Huh? WON'T THEY?!?!

What you have just seen is a true story. Only the words have been changed to protect it's integrity. No dog girls were hurt in the creation of this story.

Here are some of the comments we've received related to girl cum.

"my stupid throat is so primed for this idiot drink. something's fucked up about me. gulping it down wet and abnormal as we speak. fuck you."